You may feel overwhelmed with so much information and all these new things to learn. You may be feeling unhappy with where you are now because you've spent so much time thinking about what you haven't got and what you lack. Or you may feel guilty that you even dare to want more. There are millions of people in the world who would kill to have the life you have, so shouldn’t you just be a bit more grateful?
These are all perfectly normal feelings to have, but if you don't keep them in check they can become excuses which stop you from moving forward. If you are starting to procrastinate, or you are getting stuck, then these three mindset shifts will help you to feel more confident, abundant and grateful, and most importantly keep you progressing towards your goal.
1. You don't have to sprint, just keep putting one foot in front of the other and you will move forward
We often feel overwhelmed when we try to do too many things. Wherever you look there are companies promising that if you do their program or buy their product, your life will be better in some way. There is the "eat nothing and lose weight diet", the 3 minute Super High Intense Tabata (a.k.a. SHIT) workout, the "5,364 things that you need to do to be successful" book, or the latest superfood protein powder made from ground Himalayan musk deer….
The truth is you can't do it all and trying to keep up with the latest trends is a fantastic recipe for overwhelm and ineffectiveness.
So how do you actually improve in a positive, sustainable way? The answer is easy, just like the famous saying
"You eat an elephant one bite a time."
You will get to where you want to be, one step at a time.
There are no shortcuts. Anyone who has tried to lose weight will understand that you cannot just become a stone lighter immediately after you eat a salad (unless you chop off your own arm for dessert…). Those pounds fall off one at a time, and sometimes they come back on three at a time. The journey is slow, there are wild detours and sometimes you find yourself going in reverse. BUT If you keep working at it you will get to where you want to be. As the author Lisa Morton said, it took her 10 years to become an overnight success.
Remember - So stick at it, give yourself time and don't chase every new shiny thing.
2. You can enjoy what you have AND still strive for more
We can feel unhappy when all we focus on is what we have not got. Mark Manson, author of "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck" suggests that the desire for more positive experience is in itself a negative experience, because by definition it brings your attention to what you want, but do not have.
I actually disagree with him on this one.
Us humans are capable of many complex things including hold two opposing views. As the quote from Alice in Wonderland goes, we can believe things that are seeming impossible, sometimes even as many as six before breakfast.
According to quantum mechanics, even particles can be two opposite things. These physicists argue that a particle is not binary, it does not exist in either a 0 or a 1 state, instead each quantum bit is a superposition of the two states at once. Only when it is measured, is it forced into being a 0 or 1.
Our brains are a lot cleverer than particles (although apparently mine is not clever enough to understand quantum mechanics), so we definitely should be able to believe two opposing things at once. And I would wager that you already do this every day without even realising.
For example, have you ever loved someone and they have pissed you off? I mean shat on the carpet and chewed your expensive cable pissed you off!
You may be really angry with them, you may be shouting and cursing to yourself, but that does not stop you from loving them.
Remember - Wanting more without it diminishing our current experience is possible, this is, in fact, the paradox and the holy grail of personal development.
>Own up, which one of you pooped on the floor?!<
3. By helping yourself first you can help others more
"Eat up all your food. You should be grateful for this. There are starving children in Africa who are literally dying because they do not eat enough so we are not just throwing it away!"
Did your mum ever say that to you? Make you feel guilty for not stuffing your face? Mine did. I still hear her voice today 10 years later as I scrape my leftovers into the bin…
Don't get wrong, I'm not pro-waste, but I am pro-me.
If I feel uncomfortably full because I ate more than I needed to, I don't want to exercise. If I don’t exercise I get overweight. If I get overweight I have no energy to do anything, I just want to watch TV. If I just watch TV then I spend less time actively pursuing my hobbies and passions. If I don't pursue my hobbies and passions then there is only a slim chance that this blog you are reading now could exist.
I blog to share my journey figuring out this world in the hope that it may help other people. So by not looking after myself properly, I can't help you!
Okay, so I'm being a little flippant here, but the point is that there is a reason why airlines ask you to put on your own oxygen mask on before you help others. Because you are no good to anyone if you are dead! You need to help yourself before you can help others, and helping others is really what life is all about.
Remember - If you have more, you can give more. You do not have to stick where you are, (or put yourself at a disadvantage) to avoid feeling guilty about the privileged position you are in. Just use that position for the better.
> "Sometimes you have to be selfish, to be selfless" - Edward Albert <
Thank you for reading! If you have enjoyed this post please share it with a friend and let me know in the comments below, what else stresses you out in the pursuit of your goals?
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